Diseases Desperate Grown
by Jelsemium
Summary: A depressed Harry visits the Burrow after the TriWizard tournament. Is there any way to get him to forgive himself for something that wasn't his fault?
1. The Patient

**Harry Potter:**

**Diseases Desperate Grown**

**By Jelsemium**

**For the PhoenixSong**

**"Summer Lovin' Teenage Angst Challenge"**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. I am not trying to make a profit.**

**Thanks to Calixa for her excellent Beta-reading!**

**This is A/U, basically set in the summer after Harry's 4th year. Not at all related to the "Harry Situation" universe.**

**Chapter One: The Patient**

Arthur Weasley's workshop was private, which was its only charm, being even more cluttered than Ginny's room and more cramped than The Burrow. However, the shed was far enough from The Burrow to be private, so the youngest Weasleys had commandeered it for The Great Anniversary Project. It had all the equipment they needed to polish the bronze frame of their parent's anniversary present.

The main drawback of the workshop was that the windows were blocked with various Muggle devices that were supposed to cool the air inside. They may have worked for Muggles; all they did after Arthur Weasley got through with them was block any stray breeze.

"Not that there's been any of those lately," Ginny sighed. She stretched and shrugged off her light summer robe and flung it over the back of a chair before going back to polishing.

"Uh, Ginny, aren't you a bit under-dressed?" said Ron, trying to cover his sister.

Ginny pushed him away. "Honestly, Ron, "It's so hot you could cook a Hungarian Horntail out there!" She looked down at her outfit. She was wearing denim shorts that touched her knees and a sleeveless blouse that might have possibly been blue when her mother was in nappies. "What's wrong with this outfit, anyway?"

"It shows too much skin!" Ron complained. To push his point across, he dropped Ginny's robe on the floor and plucked an ice cube from the bowl he was carrying and slid it down the back of her blouse.

"RON!" Ginny shrieked. She jumped up and did an impromptu war dance until she dislodged the ice. She glared at Ron, swearing under her breath that if he laughed, he'd be picking spiders out of his bed for a week.

Ron was frowning, though. "Honestly, Ginny, what if somebody saw you?"

"Ron, the Burrow isn't exactly the Leaky Cauldron. We don't _get_ many visitors. There's nobody here to see me except family… all of whom are fond of reminding me how I used to run around starkers in weather like this!"

"Well, don't run around without clothes today, Harry's coming," Ron announced.

Ginny's eyes widened. "Now?"

"This evening," Ron said. "Moody and Remus are picking him up when the Dursleys aren't looking."

Ginny snorted and went back to work. "And this means I have to get overdressed now and risk heat stroke exactly why? Even if he arrived now, he won't see me until I leave the workshop."

Ron picked up another ice cube.

Ginny's eyes narrowed and the words 'Bat Bogey hex' slid out of her mouth.

Ron hastily replaced the ice.

"What's the ice for?" Ginny asked, eyeing the bowl warily.

"Watch and learn," Ron said loftily. He put the bowl down. Then he pulled a few 'batteries' out of a pocket and placed them in the back of one of their father's gadgets.

"Is this actually going to work?" Ginny asked skeptically.

"Hermione sent these batteries, plus instructions on how to make them work this '_fan'_," Ron said proudly. "She also told me about the ice trick." He flicked a switch and the blades began to move. A breeze sprang up from nowhere. He placed the bowl of ice in front of the 'fan' and the breeze became a _cool_ breeze.

"Ah, relief from the heat!" Ginny said gratefully. "Hermione's a genius. You have good taste in girlfriends."

"She's not my girlfriend," Ron grunted. He picked up a rag and started polishing.

"Don't get any on the glass," Ginny warned.

"Why not?"

"Because the recipe says not to," Ginny sighed.

They polished in companionable silence for several minutes.

"She'd never be interested in me, anyway," Ron blurted.

"I know something that might help," Ginny teased.

Ron eyed her warily. "What are you on about?"

Ginny dropped her polishing cloth, wiped her hand on a clean rag and held up a book. Its cover was tattered, the spine was cracked, the pages were worn and there were scraps of paper, parchment and cloth peeking out at various angles.

"What's that?" Ron asked.

"It's Mum's recipe book," Ginny explained. She flipped her wrist around, causing assorted colored scraps to drip out. "This is where I got the polish recipe from. Mum was so distracted with something she was working on for the Order; I think she forgot that there were more things than polishes, soups and home remedies in here."

Absently, Ron wiped off his hand and picked up the nearest scrap. It was the newspaper clipping that showed their family after his father had won the 700 galleons. He put that down and picked up the next scrap.

"Fred, gold, George, scarlet?" he read, voice that rose a bit with incredulity.

Ginny plucked out a matching scrap. "Apparently, she used to dye them when they were babies so she could tell them apart." She held the scrap up so Ron could read it.

Ron shook his head and picked up a piece of greenish vellum. "And I thought the twins got it from Dad," he said. He frowned and read, "Eye of newt, toe of frog?"

"That's a quote from Shakespeare, not part of a recipe," Ginny said.

Ron shot her a sour look. "MacBeth," he informed her. He flipped through the other scraps. "So, what's here that will help me with Hermione? A formula to make me smarter than a Ravenclaw prefect? Some recipe that will change the colour of my hair, get rid of my freckles, or increase the size of my… Gringotts' account?"

"Love potions."

Ron gaped. "You can't be serious. Mum would never let us look at…"

"I _told_ you, Mum was distracted when she said I could use this," Ginny said.

She pulled out a handful of paper. She waved a scrap of red paper under Ron's nose. "Here's one that's supposed to make the drinkers' love last forever."

She put it back. "But you have to already be in love." She picked out a purple sheet that had suspicious brown spots on it. "This one is _guaranteed_ to ignite fiery passion and produce two or three children on the first … erm …"

"Never mind," Ron said hastily. "This is silly, Ginny. I want… I don't want… never mind, what's this?" He snatched a pink sheet out of Ginny's hand. "Faith, Hope and Love?"

Ginny took it back. "Yep, this is a classic. It will not only make the drinker love the first person she… or he… sees after drinking. It will induce trust, too. This _could_ be just what you need."

"Ginny," Ron said warningly.

"Most of the ingredients are perfectly legal and can be found in the kitchen, or our student potion kits."

"Ginny!"

"I bet the twins could get us the rest of them."

"Ginny. Just. Polish."

Ginny grinned at him and resumed polishing.


	2. The Symptoms

**Diseases Desperate Grown**

**Chapter Two: The Symptoms**

Ginny _was_ fully dressed when Harry… and Hermione!... arrived late that night. Ron and Hermione were worried about what kind of mood he'd be in. The report was that he had been having severe mood swings since the Tri-Wizard Tournament, not that anybody could blame him.

Harry was subdued, but not outright cantankerous.

Grumbling at Moody's security precautions didn't really count. Everybody grumbled at Moody's paranoia, even as they scrupulously followed his instructions.

It probably didn't hurt that the teens were ushered off to bed before they could really catch up with each other. Harry didn't have enough time to really get his dander up.

The next morning, Ron and Ginny (once more fully clothed) took their guests to the workshop to show them what they had been working on.

"You're making a mirror?" Harry asked. He ran a finger across the elaborate decorations of the bronze frame.

"No, you prat, we're just polishing the frame," Ron said. He gave Harry a friendly shove, but that didn't elicit a smile. It did, however, earn him dirty looks from Hermione.

Ginny jumped in before a fight could start. "It's a family project, for Mum and Dad's twenty-fifth anniversary. Percy actually started it in his fifth year. He was studying for his Divination OWL and he read about these Transylvanian mirrors. Apparently, they're especially good for scrying."

"That makes sense," Hermione said, nodding to herself. "Even Muggles know about Transylvania's supernatural reputation."

"Which is why Percy thought we could get one for Mum and Dad," Ginny nodded back. "Mum worries so about us."

"So of course, we need another way for her to intrude on our privacy," Ron muttered.

Ginny decided to ignore that. "Anyway, it became a project for all of us. Charlie tracked several down last year. He chose this one because the bronze…"

"Matched our hair, at least it will, when we finish polishing it," Ron put in. He gave a swipe at the verdigris-encrusted frame to show off the coppery metal underneath.

"Fred and George came up with the money to buy it from the man who owned it," Ginny added. "They also threw in a few Weasley Weezes to sweeten the deal. The owner… the former owner… loves fireworks."

"Ginny and I are polishing the bronze," Ron gave his sister a sideways look. "Being careful not to get polish on the glass."

"When we're finished, Bill will reactivate it," Ginny said. "He's already checked it to make sure that there are no curses or hexes on it, of course."

"Of course," Hermione looked at Harry, but he was still idly fingering the frame and apparently not listening.

"I thought of a present your parents might like," Hermione said. "I've got a collection of photographs of the two of you at Hogwarts, also some pictures of the twins, and a good one of Percy when Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup in his last year at Hogwarts."

"Brilliant idea," Ron said. We've got some pictures that Bill and Charlie sent us when they were at school. We could make up an album, I bet."

"How about throwing in some pictures of you and Harry?" Ginny asked Hermione.

"Harry?"

"Um, you think your parents would want pictures of _us_?" Harry asked, proving that he _had_ been listening.

"Of course, you're practically family," Ron said.

"Oh." That was all Harry had to say.

"That's very sweet of you," Hermione added. "Harry, do you have some pictures you could contribute? I mean…"

Harry nodded. "Sure, I have my album." His mouth twitched as if remembering a foul taste. "I wouldn't leave anything at the Dursleys, you know."

Hermione nodded. "Of course not. That's why I asked. You don't mind contributing, do you?" she added a trifle anxiously.

Harry shook his head.

"We won't have time to get the pictures copied before their anniversary party," Ginny said. "We can give you back the originals after we do, though."

Harry just shrugged.

"Um, how about a game of chess?" Ron asked.

"Sure," as Harry followed Ron out the door, he muttered something that sounded like, "Why would anybody want to be related to a monster like _me_?"

Hermione sighed. "He's getting worse," she said mournfully. "I don't know what to do."

Ginny looked at the calendar. "We got two days, twelve hours and 27 minutes to come up with SOMETHING!" she said.

Hermione shot her a stern look. "This is no time for joking. Harry is getting really depressed. I just wish I knew what to do about it."

"Maybe he'd feel better if we could convince him that he's not a monster?" Ginny said.

"How?"

Ginny shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe by treating him like one of the family?"


	3. The Diagnosis

**Diseases Desperate Grown**

**Chapter Three: The Diagnosis**

So they tried that. The following week they played chess with him. They worked on their summer assignments with him. They inveigled him into helping to polish the bronze frame.

They taught him how to cook some of the more innocuous recipes from Molly's book.

Harry was polite and biddable, but he remained distant. He rarely spoke or smiled and, left to himself, would go off by himself and brood.

The only thing that seemed to interest him at all was Molly's recipe book.

"You don't think that Harry's interested in those love charms, do you?" Ron asked Ginny as they polished the mirror together.

Hermione learning how to cook wizarding style (Translation, she was busy keeping Molly from nosing around the workshop.) Harry was sitting under the apple tree, allegedly working on his Charms essay.

"No, I thought he might be interested in the notes about how Mum used to dye the twins, but those papers never got back into the book," Ginny responded. She shook the scraps in question.

"What else is in here?" Ron said. He picked up the book and it fell open to a page about…

"Rat poison?" Ron read with a frown.

"Maybe he's planning to kill Wormtail," Ginny suggested. Thinking of Sirius' former friend and Ron's former pet made her scowl.

Ron's frown deepened. "We have all these ingredients around here," he said.

"Well, Mum used to make rat poison before Percy got Scabbers…" Ginny trailed off. "What?"

"Rats aren't the only thing this stuff will kill," Ron said.

"You don't think that Harry is considering…" Ginny trailed off.

They eyed each other uneasily, and then ran to find Hermione.

They found her in the hen house, frowning at an egg that she had found. Apparently Muggle hens didn't lay lavender eggs.

"Hermione," Ron panted. "We may have a bigger problem than we originally thought."

They explained about Harry's apparent interest in rat poison.

"You can't seriously think that Harry's planning to kill himself!" Hermione almost shrieked.

Ginny and Ron made shushing motions.

"I don't want to," Ron said. "But we can't ignore the possibility."

"What can we do?" Hermione asked.

"We need to distract him from his problems," Ron said. "Get him focused on something else, at least until school starts. Then, well, school will help distract him."

"And we'll have more allies to help keep an eye on him," Ginny added, thinking of their fellow Gryffindors, other students like Cho Chang and Luna Lovegood, thinking of the teachers, Sir Nicholas and even Peeves.

"Get him focused on what?" Hermione prodded. "We've been trying to engage his interest all week and nothing's worked."

"I think it's time for drastic measures," Ginny said. She pulled out a scrap of worn parchment and waved it at the other two. "Diseases desperate grown, by desperate appliances are reliev'd, or not at all."

"More Shakespeare," Ron said grumpily.

"Hamlet, Act IV, Scene III," supplied Hermione absently. "What did you have in mind?" she asked.

Ginny dug out a slip of pink paper. "Love potions."

"You're crazy," Ron said. "That's illegal."

"So is harboring a known fugitive from Azkaban," Ginny reminded them. She sighed. "I wish Sirius could be here. That would definitely make Harry feel better."

"Moody won't allow it," Ron said glumly. "Says it's too dangerous."

"He'd get into trouble," Hermione said. "Even worse than what we're going to get into."

"You're only in trouble if you caught," Ginny replied. "Ron, Hermione, do you want to spend the rest of the summer worrying about whether Harry is going to kill himself? The rest of the year? The rest of your _life_? We have to get through to him, and if he is considering taking rat poison, we are running out of time."

"He has a better chance of poisoning himself here than he does at Hogwarts," Hermione agreed unhappily.

Ron frowned.

"Please, trust me that I have Harry's best interest at heart," Ginny said. "I am _not_ just acting out a childhood fantasy."

Ron and Hermione exchanged uneasy glances.

"Please? I'm going to need your help."

Ron sighed. "All right, but make sure that you pick one that has an antidote."

Ginny shook her head. "The only one we have a chance of making is this Faith, Hope and Love potion. It doesn't have an antidote."

Hermione read the potion notes. "Well, it's not a very strong one, so Harry isn't likely to do anything… stupid."

"Stupid? You mean like slipping a love potion to his best friend?"

Ginny sighed. "If you have a better plan…" she flipped open to the rat poisons. "These are all very _painful_ ways to die, you know. Nobody is very nice to rats."

Ron and Hermione exchanged another look.

Ron shook his head. "I'm going to regret this." He sighed. "What do you need us to do?"

"He'll love and trust the first person he sees," Ginny said. "So we have to make sure that it's the _right_ person. And I know just how to do that."


	4. Desperate Application

**Diseases Desperate Grown**

**Chapter Four: Desperate Application**

For all that they were in a hurry, it was almost a week before they had a chance to put their plan into action. First, they had to talk the twins into getting the final ingredients of the potion for them.

The twins were surprisingly reluctant.

"We don't mind causing trouble," Fred said.

"Or even getting into trouble," George added.

"But we need to know what, exactly, are we getting into?"

They finally had to confess what they were planning and why. The twins shook their heads in dismay, but eventually agreed to help.

"I never thought our ickle sister would come up with a prank we would never try," Fred said sadly.

"It's not a prank," Ginny snarled. "It's serious."

"That's what we're afraid of," George replied.

After getting the ingredients, the three then had to _make_ the potion.

The twins flatly refused to have any part of that.

"There's nothing humorous or entertaining about this," George said sadly.

"It's just not… us," Fred added.

They took it out to the workshop, since Mr and Mrs Weasley wouldn't go in there, as they were aware that their children were making an anniversary surprise for them.

Hermione took the lead on the brewing, Ginny assisted, and Ron kept them supplied with food and beverages. After they finished, they had to wait a nerve wracking three days before Arthur and Molly were both away at the same time so they could administer it.

In the meanwhile, Harry showed no signs of making rat poison, but he didn't show any signs of coming out of his depression, either. He never said anything, but they all knew he was blaming himself for Cedric's death.

It was on the day of the anniversary party that Molly and Arthur were finally persuaded to leave the Burrow to handle some family 'business.'

The twins volunteered to close shop early to keep an eye on their younger siblings. However, they spent most of the morning in their old room, blowing things up. (They claimed it was for old time's sake. However, Ron, Ginny and Hermione knew it was sheer nerves on their part.)

Harry had spent most of the morning in Ron's room, doing Merlin knew what. Finally, Hermione went upstairs to request that Harry come down and help set up for the Weasley's anniversary party.

"Have some lunch first," Hermione insisted. "You've skipped too many meals this week."

Harry came down and was surprised to find an empty kitchen. Assuming that the sandwich and pumpkin juice were his, he downed them without really tasting them. Then he looked around for the others. Not finding them in the Burrow, he concluded that they were in the workshop.

He opened the back door to check and almost ran into…

Himself.

Harry jumped back to avoid smashing the mirror that he, Hermione, Ron and Ginny had been polishing so diligently for the past two weeks.

He stared into his own green eyes as if he'd never seen them before. It had been months, as he had been avoiding mirrors lately.

"Harry?" Ginny's voice came timidly from behind the mirror. "Are you all right?"

"Erm, yeah," Harry said. "I was just… I look different." He frowned at himself and reached out to touch the mirror's smooth surface.

His black mood of a few moments ago seemed to fade away.

"Is something wrong with the mirror?" Ron said worriedly.

Harry shook his head, then spoke when he realized that they couldn't see him any more than he could see them. "No, it looks fine," he said. "I just… I dunno. I look different to me, somehow."

"So, you see yourself?" Hermione asked.

"Well, I could hardly not, what with the three of you shoving this ruddy great mirror in my face," Harry grumbled, but without any real heat.

"Good, then we don't have worry any more," Ginny said as she peeked around the mirror.

"Worry about what?"

"The love potion we fed you," Hermione said. She looked around the mirror with a nervous expression on her face.

"WHAT?"

"Just a small one," Ron said. He held up his thumb and forefinger held out to indicate smallness. "One to make you love and trust the first person you saw after taking it."

"Why?" Harry sputtered.

"We wanted you to stop hating yourself," Ginny said timidly. "It was my idea."

"We were afraid you were thinking of… well… hurting yourself," Hermione added.

"Oh." Harry blinked.

"Were you?" Ron asked bluntly.

"It's just… I haven't been thinking clearly lately," Harry confessed. "I just felt like I…"

"Like you were responsible for Cedric's death and that you needed to be punished?" Ginny supplied.

"Something like that, yeah," Harry said.

"How do you feel now?" Ginny asked.

"Well… " Harry said. He looked at the mirror again. He saw a messy haired, green-eyed boy with a lightning scar on his forehead and deeper, nastier scars elsewhere.

A boy… whom he loved and trusted? He wasn't sure, even then. The very idea seemed strange. "I guess I don't hate myself…"

"Oh, spare us the mush," Ron said overly dramatically. "You can repay us by helping us get this bloody thing inside," he added with a grunt.

"Ron, language!" Hermione scolded.

Ginny snickered as Ron and Hermione's customary bickering smashed the too solemn mood.

Harry leaped to help, feeling amused at how 'normal' things were. He was startled at the feeling, then realized it had been a long time since anything had amused him.

The four teens managed to maneuver the mirror into place.

"Why aren't the twins helping with this?" Harry panted as they finished. "They can use magic."

"Nobody _asked_ us," Fred replied as the twins thumped downstairs, followed by a cloud of something that smelled oddly of pumpkins.

"Besides, it's _so_ much more entertaining to watch you do it," George confessed.

"You're _too kind_ to me," Harry snorted.

"We can never be _too kind_ to you, Mr. Potter," Ginny smirked. "After all, you're part of our family, like it or not."

Harry looked at the four Weasleys and one near Weasley, and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. It was a small one, but the first genuine smile they'd seen from him in months. "I like it," he said.


End file.
